Who’s Driving The Bus?

The direction was clear. Turn right. Not left as he had done, but right. Too bad. After another 30 days of stalled activity, Jeff returned to the scene of the left turn. Plainly posted in clear block letters:

TURN RIGHT. So, who’s driving the bus?

All Jeff wanted was his sales staff to improve. More enthusiasm, less negativity, better customer service and most of all, MORE SALES. Was that too much to ask?

When he reviewed the company survey, he remembered what his staff was asking for in a sales training. Make it fun, lively, interactive and especially one with no preaching type lectures.  So how did it end up with a rigid podium trainer pontificating boring stories of how to improve sales? Why this left turn?

The evidence was clear. He failed to make the RIGHT turn. He wanted right but went left. When he was examining all the trainer applications, he chose the one with the most experience. The one his association recommended. The one with all the credentials and degrees. He just thought that was the better choice. He went left.

Later, after hearing Jeff’s conundrum and regret, a colleague asked, “Who’s driving the bus?” Jeff took that to mean a support of his decision. After all, a manager should be calling the shots, not the workers. A righteous superiority took over and Jeff felt vindicated.

Meanwhile, Jeff’s wife Marci was cheating on her diet. All the money spent on doctor’s bills, the health club and the weight loss program, was going down the drain. Jeff was incredulous at Marci’s decision to snack on that box of chocolates. He chastised her with, “Who’s driving the bus?”

Some time after the tears, tirade and kettle calling the pot black, Jeff thought about who the bus driver really was.

Wasn’t it the doctor who told her to lose weight? Jeff always assured Marci that her clothes didn’t make her look fat.  Was it the health club trainer who signed her up for a year’s membership? Throw in that weight loss counselor and you have quite a clamor for the true bus driver.  And what about those chocolates? Who IS driving the bus? Marci swore SHE wanted to lose weight. So why the left turn?

And then there was Jason. Jason is Jeff’s and Marci’s teenage delinquent. Oops, I mean teenage son. Jason was just suspended for selling ecstasy at school. Quite a left turn there. Who’s driving Jason’s bus?

As parents, Jeff and Marci are always advocating studies, character and sports. Not drugs. Jeff now thinks he’s been raising a druggie.  School, Church and relatives have always emphasized that drugs are bad and studies, character and sports good. So how could anyone make left turns?

Who’s driving the bus?

Jeff began to really contemplate that question. Good intentions and traditional judgments were suspect. Did he really weigh what his staff wanted with the trainer information he collected? Or was it just the professional look of credentials that snapped his decision?

Who’s the final factor in losing weight?  The doctor?  Health club trainer?  Weight loss counselor?  Wasn’t it Marci’s decision?  So how did the chocolates take the wheel?

And Jason. He knows the dangers of drugs and crime. He KNOWS better! He swears it was just something he fell into. So who’s responsible?  Peer Pressure?  Drugs and crime on TV?  Video games?  Doesn’t anyone know how to drive their own bus?

Defense mechanisms.  Actually that’s the route Jeff chose.  You might say he was driving defensively.  When we are being defensive we are unconsciously reacting to life’s stresses. Living in your defense mechanisms means you’re most likely hiding, dragging or throwing your baggage at stress. You’d like to think you’re the conscious driver, but it’s too easy to get hijacked when stress hits. You react by getting defensive.

Jeff defended himself against the strain of choosing a trainer and made a quick, easy decision.  That’s how our defenses work.  They “protect” us from stress. Marci indulged in chocolate probably because she felt she needed to feel better.  She justified her indulgence by claiming she’d just exercise more – a rational defense of surrendering to temptation.

Even though there are stressing forces like other people, deadlines, promises AND even chocolates; the stop sign starts with you. YOU are in charge! Being conscious means you’re LEADING your life. It’s a deliberate rather than a reactive experience.  When we consciously choose to DISCOVER how to improve, we don’t restrict ourselves to being overwhelmed by the anxiety of stress.

How? Embrace challenges with conscious choice. Be okay to be uncomfortable!  Next, stop rescuing yourself from stress by staying defensive because you can always ask for help, right?  These are the three MOVVE!™ Guidelines I use in my Elite Motivation approach to help people make successful changes and improvements.

We’ve all got routines and habits.  They are unconscious patterns that we do everyday.  We do them without thinking.  We’re programmed!!!  This often is a protective, unconscious, defensive cocoon.  This means we live a reactive existence within defensive shields.  We are merely managing, coping and surviving.

Changing, improving or becoming the person you really want to be, isn’t up to a workshop, a pledge or knowing bad from good.  It’s getting reprogrammed!  Emerge from an unconscious to a conscious state. That means working a deliberate plan. It’s putting in the time to build better skills and resources.  In my line of work it’s called MOVVE™ which is the procedural application of Elite Motivation.  Since feelings drive all our behaviors, MOVVE™ uses specialized emotionally intelligent communication practices to rally attitudes, productivity and goal success.

Jeff’s staff is working with me. No lectures!  I keep them in the drivers seat. They are rediscovering what works and discarding what doesn’t. It’s an empowering ride.

Marci is discovering how to lose weight.  She is having success as her smaller dress size accentuates her shrinking frame.

As for Jason, it’s a family thing. They’re all working on communication, role modeling, priorities and emotional intelligence. This bus drive is a journey.

Sure, they all use a MOVVE!™ Coach but hey, my work is always in motion. Helping people reprogram themselves means active, conscious changes. They MOVVE™ with Elite Motivation beyond defensive reactions!

Who’s driving your bus?

 

Book Cover5When you have a direction and destination toward change and improvement, it just takes driving on the right road.  Get on the MOVVE with Elite Motivation!

My book, Elite Motivation, can be found on Kindle and Amazon.  Follow this link to find out about it: goo.gl/OPZXsp

Movve Book coverMy Guidebook, which offers a graphic filled step-by-step format can also be found on Amazon and Kindle.  Here’s the link:  MOVVE – The Five Keys of Elite Motivation

Contact Jamie Cox M.Ed., (509) 396-4307, email: themovve@charter.net or at our website: themovve.com  Discover MOVVE™ our procedural application of Elite Motivation that walks the talk of messages, information and knowledge.

 

 

 

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11 Responses to “Who’s Driving The Bus?”

  1. Schuppenhauer says:

    Good job! What a great post!

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