Think It Over Or Talk It Out?

We all have decisions to make every day.  Some choices are routine like what to pick up at the grocery store or what to wish for as we’re blowing out the birthday candles.  Some are much more important because they affect other people, have consequences and as such, are life changing.

Deciding whether to fire, hire, give up or apply new skills.  These are some pivotal managerial choices that can determine profits or poverty.  Other more personal examples would be when time together has descended into a desire to end a relationship.  Questioning what to do, and examining what path to take, are the yin-yang directions that shape careers, choices and consequences.  So, is it better to think it over or talk it out?

The simple answer?  Both strategies can empower happy endings.  If you’re satisfied and successful both at work and home, then the way you process choices and make decisions is working for you.  However, when things frequently seem to be hitting snags, and the stress and strain is more frequent, it’s time for a change.

Whether we process decisions by thinking or talking is our style, our pattern and the usual way we handle things.  So, if we’ve hit a rough patch, changing our routine is vital  Change of course can be a challenge.  A person who contemplates is probably not used to sharing their thoughts.  Opening up to others can feel like an uncomfortable and intimidating experience.

The real driver to risk taking and making a change is pain.  That’s right, – stress, anxiety, fear and even anger are just some of the feelings signaling pain.  As any person in the medical profession will tell you, pain is our body’s way of telling us that something is wrong.  Paying attention to pain is vital to health in body, business and life’s circumstances.

When pain hits, both the thinker or talker has just ONE effective strategy to employ –  EXPRESSION.  After all, would you advise someone who is experiencing overwhelming pain to hit the mute switch and think their way out?  Isn’t that the way we exacerbate problems and trigger unhealthy results?  If someone has difficulty creating positive outcomes, do we want them to stew in their own thoughts?  Wouldn’t this be the best time to have HELP in clarifying reality and productive options?  Let’s not contribute to “stinkin’-thinking” or even worse, mental illness, OK?

So whether we’re a thinker or talker, when we’re stressed, the talking lamp is lit.  The change that needs to occur here impacts both thinker and talker.  For the thinker, expressing themselves to others is a different style indeed.  What’s facing the talker is not changing their style, it’s changing listeners.  The usual ears surrounding a talker may be deaf to necessary skills and resources.

Expressing yourself so you successfully deal with stress, choices and decisions requires a skillful receiver.  Laying all your cards on the table means you’re the sender.  Examining the right paths to take means your receiver invites exploration without offering quick advice.  This sender-receiver exchange is what true communication is all about.

A skillful receiver listens with emotional intelligence and the communicative resources to engage and empower productive decisions.  Whether a thinker or speaker, learning these receiver skills is a good MOVVE™ to Elite Motivation!  You’re entering my area of expertise and profession.  Perhaps it’s time we talk.


My first book, Elite Motivation, can be found on Kindle and Amazon.  Follow this link to find out about it:

My Guidebook, which offers a graphic filled step-by-step format, can also be found on Amazon and Kindle.  Here’s the link:  MOVVE – The Five Keys of Elite Motivation

Contact Jamie Cox M.Ed., (509) 396-4307, email: or at our website:  Discover MOVVE™ our procedural application of Elite Motivation that walks the talk of messages, information and knowledge.


3 Responses to “Think It Over Or Talk It Out?”

  1. Emanuela says:

    Hello thanks for yet another very good post. Where do you get your inspiration for all this?

  2. Mark Lewis says:

    ha, I am going to test my thought, your post give me some good ideas, it’s really amazing, thanks.

    – Mark

  3. DitafucsRebo says:

    The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

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